Many of us spend hours and many dollars trying to feel better physically and emotionally.
We go out to dinner, have a drink or 4, work out like a fool, take medications, daydream, it could be anything that provides temporary relief from a chronic issue, problem or pain. When you get to the point of “F-IT”, we get a blast of energy and empowerment to do something about it.
Sometimes it feels like a hamster wheel, just when you get the momentum to get going, see a little progress, somehow it spins right back to where you started and the cycle continues….rinse, repeat.
No wonder you feel drained! It takes a ton of energy to get going and sustain it when there are blocks that keep pulling you back to ground zero, and sometimes even lower.
Those blocks are real. Don’t get me wrong, they are. They have been practiced and cemented into place though out your life and so often, you may not even realize they literally run your life and all of the physiology in your body. Have you ever had that tingly somewhat painful feeling in your skin? Tightness in your jaw, or a chronic ache in the right side of your back? Or, if you are like me, that gunky lump in your throat that has become somewhat normal so you don’t even notice it until you feel like someone hurt you or something didn’t go the way you expected?
So how do you get out your jack hammer and remove those darns blocks? And, where do you even start if you don’t even know where they are there? Plus, unless you have been living under a rock, you see all these affirmations and positive quotes that if only you could say them enough times, or the right way, would make you feel better, give you a motivation you didn’t have yesterday or make you happy.
And let’s say that in fact that positive meme really did bring a smile to your face or inspire you to get to the gym. That’s awesome! But, unfortunately it’s not lasting. For some of us, it can actually keep the hamster wheel spinning because it was so brief, the next thought is, “what is wrong with me?”
First, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. It may just be there is something off with the way you are thinking.
Let me unpack that a bit…
Our thoughts create our feelings and in turn, our feelings create our behaviors. Some of them are great but some of them are damaging and some of them create a conflicted dual purpose behavior. That’s the thing we do where we say we want something to change but it doesn’t really seem to change. Have you been there too?
I believe the answer to this spin cycle is in the questions you ask. They are very specific ones. They provide a laser to the fastest way to bring wellbeing in all areas of our lives. We can use the cool memes to “think” happy thoughts, but these questions are the way to “be” happy thoughts.
I know for myself and many others I know, that right there is the difference between “self-help” and “self-harm”. The latter can keep you stuck on that damn wheel for FAR TOO LONG!
Here is one of my favorite starting points to any stressor I encounter in my own life. When answered honestly, authentically and without self judgement…it can bust through a whole bunch of the blocks and creates a lot lighter to come in to be able to see the other blocks that may still be there.
This week, maybe you will ask yourself and really be honest. You don’t have to tell anyone, but you might want to write it down so you can see it next week again and see if you feel lighter.
Choose just one area of your life that isn’t the way you want it to be…( this can be in anything…relationship, weight, career, family, friendships, finances whatever) and ask yourself,
“What are all the ways I am benefiting from this crappy issue?”
I bet you can come up with 20 reasons the issue you don’t like that makes you upset, serve you in some weird way.
If this idea brings you any resistance, that’s awesome, GREAT JOB …because that means you are right at the edge of breaking the blocks to smithereens! When you can see how you gain from the negativity … you can swap it for what you actually want … without dragging the negative in … sort of choosing the other end of the stick upon which to focus. That way you drop the negative and focus on the positive without feeling like you are faking it. Yup … it’s hard but when you break it down …it’s not that hard … you just realize it’s a habit. Those are the best ones … because it’s easy to switch.
Want some help? I am always here if you want some support and guidance to break those suckers for good!